The Best Chrismukkah Ever

The Best Chrismukkah Ever
December 3, 2003
Happy holidays
Seth is initiating Ryan into the joys of Chrismukkah, a hybrid holiday that combines the best of Christmas and Hanukkah. Ryan is unconvinced, but Seth is sure he'll come around.

Meet the Grinches
Ryan really doesn't like the holidays - they tended to involve drunken tantrums and beatings in his house. Sandy announces that Chrismukkah is ruined anyway, since Caleb refused the latest settlement offer. Over at Jimmy's apartment, Marissa suggests they just skip Christmas, since holidays just make people depressed. Jimmy jumps on the D word and brings up therapy, but Marissa claims everything is great.

Boy in the middle
Ryan warns Seth that the Anna-Summer-Seth triangle will end in disaster, but Seth is confident that the spirit of Chrismukkah will prevail. He's almost derailed when Anna and Summer both ask him about the Party of the Week, but he squirms out of it by suggesting they all just meet there.

Vacation time
Kirsten confronts Caleb about the settlement. Caleb refuses to budge. Kirsten gets pissed enough to take a Christmas vacation. Her version of vacation, however, involves taking all the accounts home. She finds reference to a suspicious survey in the accounts, and finds out Caleb is up to no good. Shocking! She shows the paperwork to Sandy, who says the deal he negotiated with Caleb is now void.

Shopping
Ryan hits the fancy-schmacy mall to look for Chrismukkah presents, but everything is out of his price range. Marissa admits that she's no longer rich enough to shop there either, but waxes poetic about how perfect everything is there. A security guard stops them and demands that Marissa empty her purse. Seems she helped herself to some of the merchandise. Julie is furious that Marissa would do this on the day of the party, and insists that she goes into therapy. Marissa says she can handle it on her own. No such luck.

Surprise!
Seth presents Ryan with his own, personalized Chrismukkah stocking. Ryan is pleased but unsure. Seth is equally pleased when Anna appears at the door with mistletoe followed by Summer, with more mistletoe. Doh! They all ride to the party together in steely silence. At Jimmy's apartment, Marissa is furious that Ryan thinks therapy may not be a bad idea. She steals a bottle of vodka for the road.

A party they'll never forget
After a fight with Julie, Marissa stalks off to the bathroom to indulge in some of her smuggled alcohol. Sandy corners Caleb and confronts him with the document Kirsten found - a geological survey that proves the heights are impossible to build on. Sandy announces he'll buy back the heights for $1. Caleb caves and announces he's giving the heights to the nature conservancy. Anna gives Seth her gift - a hand-drawn comic book entitled "The Adventures of Seth Cohen and Captain Oats." Summer pulls him aside to give him her own comic-inspired present - she strips down to a Wonder Woman costume. Anna walks in on them, and the girls realize that this is a battle that neither of them can win. Seth has to choose.

Blue Christmas
Ryan confronts Marissa about her about her drinking - "It's like my mom all over again." Marissa tries to drive away, but smashes into the car behind her. Ryan drives her home, but gets furious when Marissa pulls the vodka out and loses the cap. They get pulled over for the broken tail light, but the cop gets called away before he finds the bottle. Ryan freaks, throwing the bottle away and slamming the door in frustration. "I left this behind," he tells her. "I am not doing this again."

Chrismukkah miracle?
Seth thinks the fact that Ryan didn't get busted is a Chrismukkah miracle. He's confident that a similar miracle will occur when he talks to Anna and Summer. But when he tells both of them that he adores them but just wants to be friends, both girls announce "I don't want to be your friend." Sorry, Seth.

Aftermath
Caleb blows up at Kirsten for exposing him: "It was dishonest, calculating and ruthless. We just might make a real estate mogul out of you yet." Sandy persuades Ryan to let Marissa go through therapy alone: "You're hear with us now - you don't have to be the parent anymore." Ryan hangs his stocking up with the rest of them. Marissa finally goes to therapy, where she meets a similarly screwed up rich guy.